Why do they do it?  Our favorite teams just can’t stop the merchandising at replica jersey’s a couple retro kits and maybe some scarves.  They have to always go too far and put their logo on anything with a flat surface.  The end result?  Tools wearing their teams logo on everything.

Note to those of you who may fit into this category, just because the team makes it, doesn’t make it a good idea.

I have compiled a couple of exhibits as evidence that some clubs just take it too far.

Exhibit A:

Nothing screams, “You are a woman and I have no idea how to please you” like a virgin in a footy robe.  Why can’t you do what the rest of us do and steal the robes from hotel rooms?  You think you are better than me?

Exhibit B:

Here’s a tip from those of us that live near beaches, to those of you who only vacation here.  No one has played Smashball since 1993.  You know how the rest of us can pin point a Euro at the beach from a mile away? (Besides the Speedo/Gold Chain combo) We look for the hairy dudes playing Smashball.   Just cuz it may have Inter Milan’s logo on it, doesn’t make it cool.

Exhibit C:

So what kinds of things do you associate with lockerooms after soccer games?  Me?  I think of sweat and athletes foot.  If only some team could bottle that smell and some how associate it with the French…  if only.

Exhibit D:

Ladies and Gentlemen I give you the banana hamock.  Villareal’s answer to the question, “How could we make a few more Euros.”  I just realized that if you put these four items together you would be assembling some kind of Super Euro that could ravage the shores of Miami Beach for decades.  We must stop them now before they succeed.

Don’t let your friends buy stupid football products.

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Tags: atletico madrid, banana hamock, inter milan, products, PSG, robe, Villareal

About Jrodius

I am a 32 year old dude living in So. Cal. I still refuse to wear white cleats on principle and hate any food with cheese. I am also a season ticket holder to the LA Galaxy. You can follow my genius on Twitter as well as my own blog Going Guerilla

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 at 2:30 pm and is filed under Gear. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.